ruin.

"ruin me, Father"
You heard me say
praying for what i had so long needed to pray
so the heavens rejoiced
but a tear slid down Your face
You knew that Your daughter, Your love
was going to experience pain.
&so my world crumbled
my safe walls destroyed
i fell to the ground in despair
grief surrounded me
lonely and hopeless
i had forgotten the prayer i had prayed.
i cried out, "why?'
&anger sank in
my gifts had been taken away
so i forged on
half living my life
just continuing on the same
but You followed after
kept by my side
let me grow my own way
the silence was painful
but my soul adjusted
i began to know in different ways
although the same God
my faith was anew
my adoration adapted and changed
finally, i praise You
i thank You, my God
for answering my heavy prayer
for ruin me, You did
but leave me, never
i know that my God remains.