redirect.

things i thought were meant to be

just never were

it seems to me

i do not understand

my God Above's plan

i thought i did

i thought i knew

i guess that's just what life can do

&so i'll wait

&so i'll see

this road that He's mapped out for me

i'll keep my chin up and carry on

no sense in looking back, it's gone

i pray for wisdom

strength to see

what God has opened up for me.

surprise.

nothing i expected &everything i needed,
Lord, you know better than i.
may Your will be done with us.
God, may you lead us.
&may you lead him to lead me
&lead me to be led.
this will not work without You.
&with You, the possibilities are endless.
Lord, give a convicting heart to hold You first.
make us strong in our weakness by Your strength.
make us steady in Your peace.
show us the way, oh God.
give us the eyes to see it.
Lord, give us the open hearts to follow You, together.

beauty.

Lord, i feel Your heart
i know it is breaking
for you've set beauty in us
the desire in our hearts
yet we've corrupted it.
natural beauty,
Your beauty,
goes unnoticed
and we try to replace this.
Lord, help us to see
with Your eyes
to be more aware
of the simple beauty,
the careful design
of Your creation
for we are Yours,
Your beautiful creations.

plea.

Father, God
please, my Lord,
reach out your arms
&draw me near.
for though i've lost the way
i know You are here
but Your touch,
i can't feel it.
guide my steps
back toward Your grace
take hold of me, God
comfort my soul.
my strength is failing
&my heart draws heavy,
Father, help me
please, lead me.

ruin.

"ruin me, Father"
You heard me say
praying for what i had so long needed to pray
so the heavens rejoiced
but a tear slid down Your face
You knew that Your daughter, Your love
was going to experience pain.
&so my world crumbled
my safe walls destroyed
i fell to the ground in despair
grief surrounded me
lonely and hopeless
i had forgotten the prayer i had prayed.
i cried out, "why?'
&anger sank in
my gifts had been taken away
so i forged on
half living my life
just continuing on the same
but You followed after
kept by my side
let me grow my own way
the silence was painful
but my soul adjusted
i began to know in different ways
although the same God
my faith was anew
my adoration adapted and changed
finally, i praise You
i thank You, my God
for answering my heavy prayer
for ruin me, You did
but leave me, never
i know that my God remains.

hypocrisy.

"i'm sick of the hypocrisy"

but the question lies,

am i the hypocrisy?

i see it in others

driving me mad

&it pulls at me.

for what i see in them

is what i run from inside

they reflect my fears.

my mind falls away

from the One my heart

&it brings me to tears

paused.

i feel the air

&i breathe it in

but it all just feels the

same.

just "passing through"

since the day i was born

but the passing

never came.

it's no longer staying

&more like stuck

yet there is no one

to blame.

so i feel

&look at my soul

it leaves, my flame.